On a course for caregivers about play there was a bridge metaphor: to play with an autistic child, meet them halfway, don’t expect them to completely cross the bridge to play the way you would expect.
I liked that. But over the years I have realised that there are times I need to pack a picnic and join them. Often the picnic has some plain, fresh, white bread and apples. I go across the bridge, over the hill, into the forest...
The forest is glorious, it’s lush and colourful.
We sit and eat and my son tells stories.
There are many mythical creatures, but it isn’t noisy.
He enjoys the apple. Wanders around, biting and chewing the apple. This is therapeutic. (There are no wasps or bees in this forest that are interested in the apple. They stick to the flowers.)
If you are not relaxed, if your child isn’t relaxed, then eating together can be pretty stressful. If you don’t take things down a notch, some days and evenings are interminable. I think it is a good idea to be with your autistic child in their own way, as sometimes it is too much to expect them to walk on to the bridge (or even come out of the forest). In play, in eating… you are there with them, and you are their person, and they love you for that.